Jealousy

I'm not jealous because you have him
I'm jealous because there's no reason it's not me
I'm jealous because it's never me
That all of this happens to other people, not me

I'm not jealous because he's not madly in love with me
I'm jealous because they have each other and I have no one
And it makes me sick to think of all the people
Sharing things I'll never share

I'm not jealous because you have what I want
I'm jealous because you're happy with what you have

I don't really care that he doesn't like me
I care that NO ONE EVER LIKES ME
I care because I think of my future
And I see myself, ending up like the spinster down the road
Who's successful in everything but love
And she comforts herself with the thought that men are just scared by her success
I'm even jealous of her
Not because I want her life
God, fuck no
Because I want her ability to make excuses

I have no excuse other than natural selection
Which decided that whatever genes make me as unattractive to men as a vasectomy
Should never be added to the gene pool